A Christmas threesome with Mickey Mouse

There's something about the holiday season which prompts people to throw out their inhibitions.

Example: A salesperson at the mall today asked me to take him home instead of my item. I mean, I'm sure he's a fine human specimen but, he certainly isn't going to fit in the stocking. Furthermore, I had already told him the item was for a guy.. so was his insinuation homoerotic? Perhaps the item-human swap was a proposition for a holiday threesome? The confusion from this experience lasted the entire walk back to the car.

I think the holiday season is a little like Disney. I've lived in Florida my whole life so, I have to constantly remind myself that not everyone goes to Disney World on a quarterly basis. Anyhow, I think part of Disney's success is through their ability to adapt the draw of Christmas into a marketable mainstay. I have several examples for this hypothesis:

1. Mickey Mouse: this is obvious- Santa.. I shouldn't have to explain this one.

2. Decorations: Disney is filled with scary re-creations of memorabilia- Tomorrowland, Fantasy Land, MGM, Blizzard Beach. A lot like the re-creations of nativity scenes, villages, trains, trees, etc.. that take over the stores in mid-October. Every ounce of Disney is filled with decorations, just like Grandma's house the day after Thanksgiving.

3. Everything costs more: Why is it that switching someone's laundry over is a perfectly fine present in July but not on December 25th? The worst mistake I ever made: making an Excel Spreadsheet outlining my Christmas expenditures. Also.. Dasani water costs about $5 a bottle in Magic Kingdom. I usually just collect saliva in my mouth and take one big swallow..

4. Stupid things seem really cool for 24 hours: Fiber Optic Multi-Colored Spinny Thing = Itchy Socks From Aunt Lee.

5. People lose sight of their inhibitions: Christmas has the aforementioned kinky salesman and Disney has people, like below, who check style and intelligence at the cartoon character turnstile.

Another astonishing find by science..

Neurologist, Hjnfkjsd ksjdfg, or some similar Asian name, at Penn State Hershey College of Medicine have miraculously linked abnormal arm jerking to Parkinson's disease.

She furthers the research to add that one arm will experience unabashed swinging before the other - an explanation as to why we all aren't brandishing about with flailing arms. I mean really.. who is supporting studies so mundane. If your arm moves without your consent, I don't think you need Gjksfjkg to warn you of Parkinson's. I'm just going to straight up make a MJ Fox joke at your expense.

Can we have some research studies into health concerns less obvious, perhaps more life affecting? You know, like the good old days when we tried to cure cancer?

New research suggests that foul language may point to asshole-ness. Further research indicates that such deranged anger is congruent with rise in female drivers.

I didn't hit you in the face. I just have early signs of Parkinson's.

Science Daily