The tribulations of conscience living..

Being health responsible and wellness conscience has its major pitfalls.  I went today to an appointment at a salon for a Brazilian Blowout - with sugarplum thoughts in my pretty little head of manageable tresses infused with strength and vitality, I drove to the hair place.  Earlier in the week, I looked up the salon and double checked their services were formaldehyde free and natural.  Excited to get the locks of my dreams, as promised by my friend's happy experience at the same place, I was on my way.

Arriving at the salon, I met with the hair tech and she explained the procedure.  Just to be extra sure, I asked if the treatment was formaldehyde free.  Her face went long as she shook her head no. UGH. She explained, "the other stylists do the Zero Treatment, but I won't do it and I don't buy the stuff for it".

She leaned in to whisper, "it doesn't work".  My stomach felt uneasy.  My friends hair looked great and she texted me a few times about how easy it was to style and how soft it felt.  I thought maybe it was not that bad.  I thought about standing on the beach with my smooth and pretty hair flowing in the wind.  Harps were playing and life was perfect.  MY HAIR WILL BE GREAT, I thought.

Suddenly visions of dead animals and organs floating in green liquid edged into my blissful hair-scapade.  The doctor slowly shaking his head with a tsk tsk tone as he points to the cancer in my frail body.. "You should have just kept with the hair spray and conditioner..." he hindsightedly heeded.

Sitting in the wet chair preparing for my first shampoo, I shot up, "I'm not comfortable with this".  She sighed and plopped into the chair next to me.

"What are you thinking?", she asked.  I explained I just wasn't comfortable with the use of formaldehyde and harsh chemicals on my hair. I stuttered through an explanation of safety and natural living and brittle hair falling out in clumps and dead animals and appendixes in jars. (OK - maybe the last two didn't come up verbally..) I thanked her for being understanding, graciously took her card to call if I changed my mind, and went on my merry way home.

DAMN, I thought driving home.  It sure would be easy to turn my head at the use of vanity chemicals and enjoy my easy hair but, I just couldn't do it.  It would compromise too much of how I view modern beauty measures and zen living.  I pass by McDonald's and Burger King when I am hungry, and as such, I had to forgo wrapping Chernobyl around my head for the sake of my appearance.

Opting for better health measures is a pain.  But hopefully worth it in the end.  Because easy hair would be easy.  But pure ease is not what I am going for  in life.  And I often don't feel like cooking or chopping up a nutritious salad.  And its hard to pass up dessert sometimes.  And boxed store cookies or microwaveable mac and cheese or convenience food is so well.. convenient.  And I often think about what I could buy with the money I shell out on vitamins and herbs.  But, living fresh and natural is so much more important at the end of my day.  And I fall off every now and then or delve into a cake or ice cream, but for the most part, I think health outweighs lazy.  And what you put in your body is as important as what you do to the outside. I will have to stay a pale, short nailed, frizzy haired example of living outside of the tan-nails-hair-gym-laundry-tshirt time-whatever paradigm because the latter just doesn't work for me personally. And as a choice I made for myself, I will have to deal with the inconvenience it sometimes offers :)

Well, I mean, except that the gym and laundry are a must...

Why auto task killing is a bad idea...

The following is an excerpt from Android.Nextapp.com concerning task management by Android software and why auto task killing is bad: (If you don't know what Android is - just stop reading my blog now and never come back, as we obviously have nothing in common) 

The problem with automatic task killing is that it does not provide any benefit. 

As previously discussed in the Task Mangement Section, the Android operating system knows how to manage memory. It automatically loads processes into memory and unloads them as required. Android will strive to always use as much of your device's memory as possible, and this is a good thing: empty memory is wasted memory. Do not be concerned if your device does not show much memory available. If the application you are using requires more memory, other (background) applications will automatically be removed from memory.

The greatest (and probably worst) thing about computer technology is how it was designed to efficiently mimick the human brain.  As computers were designed by these human brains, it is logical to assume that man created computers in man's image.  


So when I read about task killing today, I couldn't help but think how very true was Nextapp's warning.  Their argument is that force closing apps doesn't enhance the Android memory any because the OS knows how to handle its memory itself.  Basically task killing leaves the OS with free memory which it doesn't know what to do with, so the system wigs out a little searching for applications to stick in its free space.  Since it (presumably) takes the same amount of system resources to keep nothing in Android's memory as it does to keep something in it - (as NextApp puts it) empty memory is wasted memory. 


Which is very true to our human brains, as well.  While we don't have the option to run automatic task killer software in our minds, we do have control over our cognitive behavior and the memory we store within it.  The mind is a lot like computer memory - when empty, it searches for something to do with the free space.  Its not biologically natural for the mind to be free of thought, so when we are not actively using it's resources, it searches for something to fill the void with - which is not always something productive to our mental OS.  


This is why engaging is so important - reading, writing, creativity, conversation, problem solving, whatever - all are applications which can run in our mental memory to keep system power at optimal speed.  Because when we task kill our mind, the void runs rampant - soaking up negative filler like a poorly constructed phone app.  And when the adverse thought ball starts to mentally roll, it tends to require and consume large amounts of memory, and our more productive background applications start to be removed to free more space to the cynicism.  


Because, remember, empty memory is wasted memory.  

Bunny.

In honor of it being (almost) Easter, I also drew a bunny.

Enjoy.

WARNING. WARNING.

Taken with my iPhone.  Its a Verizon iPhone.
I stayed up until 3AM to pre-order it.
(It came out with no lines, FYI)

My car gets 22.6 MPG when I drive it while paying attention. It gets 21.8 MPG when I text and drive (Progressive would say this is due the rapid succession of hard braking involved with not watching while driving).  One time Boyfriend drove us around and I got it back reading 22.9 MPG.  My mom drove it and it read 21.2 - leading me to believe she doesn't look at the road ever.

I don't feel like it really makes a difference in my overall gas consumption, nor do I think these numbers are remotely accurate or a basis for any sort of comparison. My car gets roughly 375 miles to the tank. Period. No matter who or how its driven or where, that's its magic number.

I am rather young.  As such, when I first started driving (back then I was manning a massive F-250 - I'm talking the kind of truck songs by The Eagles are about) gas was still over $2.00 a gallon.  When I graduated high school, I was in a (cue exaggerated coughing) H3.  By then the norm for gas was over $3.00 - and the Hummatron consumed it like it was salt water.

Now that I am into something much better on fuel consumption, gas prices have sprinted to sometimes well over $4.00/ gallon.  But none of this really has to do with the purpose of today's post.  Because today's post is mostly just about how much change happens so swiftly that its imperceptible to the human eye.  Actually, that's not true.  Its very perceptible.  I just lied before (sorry) to exaggerate my point: change is exponential.  By that I mean, as time rambles on interminably, advances grow in leaps and bounds.

In the 1800s, the World's Fair was the innovation event of the year.  It highlighted the advances of the greatest minds in history's hindsight.  Things like the Diorama (like an early movie, really just photos backlit and spinning around an audience) and the ferris wheel (you know.. we still have them today), as well as many other non-spinning inventions were announced.  People flocked to see what innovators had come up with next.  Today we do the same things, only we broadcast them to everyone (we can't let the South get that far behind again) - via snippets and videos on the web.  Instantaneous cultural advances.  Microwavable updates.  Its exciting and I am not for a moment suggesting anything negative.  The framework of modern culture is so quick that we are in constant competition to come up with something newer and better - everything is just something to improve and re package.

Anyhow, I was filling up the other day and noticed the sign (above) about not yakking on the horn while filling up the tank.  And I was struck at how foreign it looked to me.  I barely remember what a pager is - if not for re-runs of Scrubs, I would probably have to sound out the word to be able to say it.  And that phone? It is a flip phone?  Was it made by Fischer Price?  What's that thing coming out the top?  For poking?

Shit changes so quickly in modern culture now that warning signs outlast relevance.  The gas station doesn't have time to have corporate re-issue warning labels before the manner its depicted is foreign to most of its customers.

And that just seemed so frickin' odd to me.

How to Unlock Hidden Choice

I can tell you a lot about a person based on what they drive and what type of cell phone they have.  I can tell you their age within 5 years, their general field of work, their status in the way of relationships and family, and a host of personality traits.  I can tell you their gender and some approximate interests. I never have to meet this person first or see them. I can know nothing but their car and cell.  The two C's.  The two biggest indicators of the 21st Century.  

Don't get excited.  I have no special gift (beyond mild attention to detail) and I am not that smart (not dumb, but I have no claim to higher intelligence).  In fact, you could probably tell all of these things from those two entities yourself.

More so then the clothes one wears or the food one eats or the accoutrements one collects in their home, a car and a cell phone are sustainable in our everyday.  They're purchases most people don't change so frequently. They come in a multitude of choices yet are still somewhat limited.  You have a choice between only a few cell phone carriers.  Only a handful of phone manufacturers.  They compete against each other and as such, they consistently borrow from one another, always outputting the same narrow choices to the consumer.  A phone that can make a call, connect to the web, check e-mail, have a CNN app, whatever. They all do basically the same thing yet we have many choices.  We have choice in as much as we have an attention span. 

Within Ford alone, you can buy a Mustang with any variation of a multitude of combinations. So that there are literally hundreds and hundreds of car choices you could make, yet they're still remarkably similar.   We don't have limited choice - we have many choices and that is irrefutable.  It's just that all of our choices are just variations on themselves.  Its like having thousands of pieces of paper with the same things xeroxed on them.  We have many pieces of paper but no real difference. 

So it makes judging behavior and past and life statistics easy.  Because people tend to buy what fits into their personality, right?  You have a family so you buy a Caravan.  You like to fish or hunt so you buy a Silverado.  You are mindful of the environment and/or gay so you buy a Prius.  You're a chick so you buy a tC.  You have poor confidence so you buy a Corvette.  Your parents are rich and you're lost so you buy a BMW.

Or is not that we base our consumption on personality but rather personality is molded in accord to consumption? That the greatest trick the advertising industry ever made was forcing us all to think it worked for us, that we operated in tandem? When really the industry molds us. Shapes the way we operate and the things we choose.

I don't know. And thinking about it could drive one crazy - second guessing their every move.  I think maybe dwelling on choice and consumerism and society is neurotic but being aware and conscience is being smart.  I like to think I don't have much to change - as I already try to stay pretty self-aware.  But being different for the sake of being misaligned with society is just as bad.  It's just another level of control. It's just playing Mario Kart at the level where the tracks are backwards.  Still on the path just everything looks reverse.  The hidden fifth circuit.  So what do you do?  You just stay aware and keep doing what you want.  You trust yourself.  

All my cupcakes are gone..

Its that time of year again. The time when the rented tux and flower and ordained minister business booms.

Michael Scott is doing it.  Prince William is doing it.  April Ludgate is doing it. Throngs of ordinary people are doing it.

Yep. That's right. It's marriage season..

I was at a friends house the other day and noticed an engagement announcement on her fridge. The seemingly happy couple photoshopped into perfect black and white with modern type explaining the when's and where's and who's.. And it got me thinking. Thinking that if I ever ended up taking the plunge into the frigid waters of matrimony, what I would do to mark the celebration...

Wedding announcements would without a doubt be a viral video. Vows would be a pro's and con's list - with the eventual outcome a win for the pro column.  I don't really care what anyone wears to the event - but it would be cool if the guys all had mohawks and I could have a cape. And possibly a mask. I don't want gay things like rice or bubbles thrown at me but rather high flying paper airplanes, maybe somehow made into a competition for the guests/spectators. I would also like to trade out flowers for toy swords and/or light sabres and instead of throwing a bouquet.. I want a duel with aforementioned tools.

I find the only thing most modern weddings have right is the food and alcohol. And the cake. So those would, naturally, stay traditional.  BUT I would like centerpieces to be chips and salsa. The world does not need more candles or jordan almonds or custom m&m's.. In the center of the food table, I want an elaborate Hot Wheels track with cars. And in addition to a real cake, I also want one made out of Legos.  Everything will be held outdoors, rain or shine. In the event of rain, we can add a wet t-shirt contest to the docket of events... and I want to ride away on something really cool. Like a carriage pulled by Samoan Indians or robots or Samoan Indian robots.

I'm just saying, since when does a wedding have to be so boring? It's not Easter Sunday at Holy Saint Ballsack or graduation from Up Yours University. Its a party. So live it up.

The New American Mind

A screenshot of my e-mail, 2011.

I get daily e-mail subscriptions to a spam/junk/crap/shit/whatever designated e-mail address: porkchopjunk - don't ask how the name came about.  It has a lot to do with GMail poo-poo-ing every normal variation of my "name" and the words "mail", "trash", "spam", "junk"... But I can tell you that its a great conversation starter at retail stores.  It almost got me a discount at Vitamin Shoppee (Shop?) once.

Anyhow, one of the things I subscribe to is various e-newsletters from USAToday. I get their daily headlines, entertainment, cars, technology, world, etc.. They're concise. Load fast. Size on my phone screen awesomely. And show the utter failure of modern American society.

For the past month and half to two months, America and the World At Large have seen the following disasters: Gifford's mauling, Japan ripping in half, dissenters in Libya/Syria/possibly other countries with "y's" in them, Steve Carrel's last episode of The Office, Charlie Sheen losing his ever loving mind, and technology and car advances at CITA, CES, Detroit Auto Show, etc... - yet nothing has out lasted the daily running of two headlines on USAToday's e-mail subscription. Two headlines that cross pollinate from entertainment to world to technology to daily and weekly roundups.

Does Maya calendar predict 2012 apocalypse?

and...

Free porn on 'tube sites' puts a big dent in industry

So there you have it folks, the encapsulation of the new American mind: skepticism and sex. Awesome.